I wish I had somehow been able to count how many times I have said "Es tut mir leid. Ich spreche kein Deutsch" in the past three weeks. My initial approach to excusing my lack of German skills as the famously despised American abroad was through immediate apology, no matter who it was I was talking to. I soon came to realize, with considerable relief, that a big city is just that, no matter where you go. Both comforting and, at times, disheartening, everyone is set in their own rhythm here. There isn't enough time in the day for feigned niceties and excuses. Still, Berliners have been, on the whole, welcoming and helpful. They have a hand up on my most recent experience with the kind people of Paris. In the end, people are people, no matter where we go.
I was eager to settle in Berlin after a few weeks of traveling. I feel lucky to be able to get outside the States and experience different places, but it wears me out and I inevitably look forward to staying in one place for a little while, however temporarily. Paris was beautiful, just as I remembered. As a geography major, Paris' metro system leaves me in awe. So efficient, so reliable, so vast! Stockholm was reminiscent of Seattle, all bridges and water, but after spending a homeless night on the windy and cold streets of Stockholm with Christopher (a coinciding Stockholm vs. Copenhagen football game, and a major medical conference, left the entire city booked full), the road weariness set in early. Hamburg was lovely, largely in part to our hostess Saskia and her eagerness to show us just how great Hamburg is. But I digress ... Berlin!
I lucked out. My production group consists of the four individuals in our group of students here who I seem to mesh with most, and conveniently enough, so does our collective vision of what our film should be. So far, it is more difficult than I expected to formulate a plan for a film that is cohesive, imaginative, meaningful and (most importantly) realistic, and to then execute said vision in a matter of 3 months. For me, the most daunting part may be finding the patience to learn Final Cut and spend the many hours to edit our film. I am looking forward to it, definitely, but I know it will be a test for each of us individually, and as a group. Any time you throw four people together to work on a creative project, there will be tension in figuring out whose vision prevails, or in the very least, finding some fair compromise of ideas. For me, I know this will be the biggest challenge. Pushing myself for the last year and a half to focus and improve my creative projects has been difficult in itself, and working by myself is what I have always liked best. Trying to understand how each of us comes from a unique perspective means not only can I learn from my group mates, but it also means I will have to force myself to understand that this project is not just mine, but a collective effort. Which is great! I truly cannot wait to see what comes of it.
Class is better than I expected. Perhaps I was feeling cynical about discussion based classes after an awkwardly quiet, lopsided discussion group on Miyazaki films Spring quarter, but so far there seems to be equal contribution, and my classmates are fueling the conversation with thoughtful comments. The first film we watched in class, Daniel Eisenberg's Displaced Person, is everything I love about experimental film making, and it provided some great inspiration for the film project here. Repetitive, ambiguous images. Thought-provoking narration. It may be more abstract than we are aiming for, but it got the wheels turning, nonetheless. The reason I initially became interested in studying film was because it can elicit feeling before the viewer can comprehend a deeper meaning. I am still unsure exactly what Eisenberg was saying with his film, but his execution of images and sound, artfully strung together to form something that unsettled me, made a lasting impression and was a solid start for the class.
Personally, this first film we watched only strengthened my desire to explore cinematography as a part of my film group this quarter. As a photographer, I want to be able to capture an image I see in an aesthetically pleasing way. Over the last few days, I have been drawing sketches in my notebook of different photographs I would like to take while I am here, mostly involving a human subject. A few days ago while we were on the metro, I was trying to describe to Chris M. these particular shots and was telling him that I was frustrated I had ideas for 35mm shots of my own, but not particularly for our film. "Why not find a way to use them for the film, then?". Ok! So finding a way to translate what I am used to, film I can print into a single still image, to a moving photograph, is the real challenge here. I am taking what I know and building on it. I knew that was the goal all along, but it doesn't necessarily come easy. Luckily, I think the general sentiment of our group project caters well to the kinds of images I am drawn to lately, so now I am just trying to find a way to extend those momentary visuals into indefinite images without them losing meaning. I think it will take a great deal of experimenting, a great deal of footage (good thing for our external hard drives) and a lot of learning how to manipulate via editing.
Overall, our theme of movement within the city and its different forms, and of experiencing the city and the feelings it evokes (excitement, isolation, fatigue, being overwhelmed, feeling connected to something intangible) lends itself to how I am feeling on a daily basis. I adore Berlin.
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